Monday, April 17, 2017

Outside, Inside, Upside Down: Moving On After Divorce Part III

I don't believe in corporal punishment.

It's harmful, brutish, and teaches the wrong message to children--that violence can solve problems and that love can be equated with pain. I am passionate in my stance against disciplinary violence, even now. But in the nameless horror of watching my 12-year-old son almost jump from a four story window, my first impulse was to spank him hard.

Then I was crying.

Then I was calling his psychiatrist.

Then I was moving all his things into the room where I slept because I was never, ever going to let him out of my sight again. I called the apartment manager and asked if we could nail the windows shut. "It's against the fire code," I was told.

I drove him to the psychologist that he'd been working with for the past year. She said he wasn't suicidal, only impulsive. "People commit suicide as an impulse?" I asked.

"At least half. The impulsive ones are more likely to succeed because no one sees it coming."

I felt as if the air had been sucked out of my lungs. "How do I watch him every second of every single day?"

"His psychiatrist can prescribe a drug for impulse control."

She was talking about Risperdal. His doctor had mentioned it several months before, but at the time we decided not to try the drug. It was an anti-psychotic. It has some pretty hardcore side effects-- weight gain, lethargy, tremors in the hands.

Back then I thought the risk was too great, but now I would do anything to keep history from repeating.

A suicide attempt changes everything.


Stay tuned for more...

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Below are links to this story from the beginning:

Moving On After Divorce
Navigating Troubled Times: Moving On After Divorce Part II
Praying for a Miracle: Moving On After Divorce Part IV



14 comments:

  1. I think teens in this time period are much more likely to consider suicide as an option to their difficulties - even if that is failing a test.
    I agree as a parent it's hard to face and harder to get a good night's sleep.

    @moondustwriter sharing a
    A Piece of Uganda

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    Replies
    1. Yes, i was reading that suicide is very high in the younger age group. It is also really high for people aged 45 - 65. That last one surprised me.

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  2. 12 is not an easy age at the best of times. :(

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    Replies
    1. I wouldn't go back to that age. Not even if someone paid me a million dollars to do it!

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  3. I'll be staying tuned. Your theme is very interesting to me, thank you.

    One Thing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good to know. Thank you for stopping by.

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  4. He is at a difficult age for most kids. Hopefully things will improve. Blogging about it probably is a good outlet for you. I will go back and start at your A post when I have time.

    Emily | My Life In Ecuador | Olon Orphanage

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is a difficult age. No need to go back to A. There is no way; I jumped into the A-Z at K. Just follow the links at the bottom of this post to the other parts of the story.

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  5. Andy , i send for my prayers for the dear 12 year old. I can sense your fears as a parent, as you try to cope up with the seeds of a new impulse. I hope and pray it was only an isolated episode.
    Best wishes
    moon
    https://aslifehappens60.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your prayers. It is very kind of you to send them.

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  6. Andy, what a nightmare for you and your son. My heart goes out to your both.

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    1. Thank you, Toni. I am very VERY glad things have settled down since then.

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  7. A well written and moving post. I do hope things are looking up for both of you, now. Shepherding a child through the teen years may be the hardest thing you ever have to do. Thanks for sharing the journey.

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  8. Andy, If I were in your shoes I think I'd be like you...rethinking the possibility of medicating my child. These thoughts are scary when you have a kid with sporadic behavior. My oldest daughter was into self-infliction. I think this problem still haunts her to a degree and she's almost 29. It's like anything, once something has a hold on you it's hard to break. But autism isn't the same. I always thought autistic children weren't very verbal but yours seem to talk to you which is good. I can't imagine the struggle of an autistic teen when it's hard enough for a "normal" teen to deal with the fluctuation of emotions. My heart aches for you and hopefully your discoveries and walk will help another going through it now. Thanks for sharing and for visiting yesterday's post, Art Sketching Through the Alphabet “O” (Owl). :)

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