Well (sigh) I used to live in a "real" house. It was five bedrooms and 4,000 square feet with a two car garage on a quarter acre of land. Nice flat landscape with trees along the perimeter. Lovely property.
It's a testament to how toxic my marriage was back then that I chose to move into a cramped cockroach infested apartment on the wrong side of the tracks with four anxiety-prone kids rather than live one more day in that house.
The separation lasted a year. Then came the divorce.
After 18 months on the top floor of an apartment that too often smelled of cigarette smoke and urine, my kids and I were thrilled when we walked into the townhouse where we now live. It was February. Sunlight streamed in through the sliding glass doors off the eat-in kitchen. It had been snowing, but the coldness didn't stop the sun as I walked onto the deck and looked up. There was a tree, tall and majestic, spreading its branches wide against the chill blue sky.
I fell in love.
Perhaps that was irrational, but love doesn't have to makes sense. I closed on the house quickly over the next six weeks, moving the kid's beds over first while I slept on the floor.
Two years have since passed and in a poetic twist of fate, every time I flushed a toilet yesterday, water started bubbling up from the drain of the downstairs shower. The plumber came with a giant snake and a camera to find the problem. He told me tree roots had grown into a drainpipe and spent several minutes walking around the house in an attempt to find the nefarious culprit.
It was the tree. The one I fell in love with. We will snake the pipe and eventually replace it, but that tree is part of our family now. I will not cut it down.
And yet the title of this blog post is "Screw this, let's go to Kauai!"
I'd like to go to Kauai. I'd like to go kayaking in the ocean and swim with sea turtles, to relax on a white sand beach drinking cocktails under a big umbrella. To read all day. To write. And to have the freedom to pick up and move whenever I choose.
But like the tree, I cannot do this.
I have roots.