Sunday, April 23, 2017

Tears and Tenderness

This last week was a stressful one for me. I think that's pretty evident from the general tone of my blog and how it deals with issue after issue. There's nothing wrong with this, of course. Especially since I lead a life that revolves around the needs of children with disabilities.

I grew up with a learning disability that affected my life in multiple ways, the least of which was my ability to write. I'm not even going to go into the religious perfectionism of my house growing up and how adversely that affected me. Or the toxic environment of the marriage that I left. It took me many years to gain clarity and to get healthy enough to strike out on my own. 

The divorce was difficult for my children, but it was for them as much as it was for me. 

Now that I have primary physical custody of my beautiful sweet children--three high functioning on the autism spectrum and one with ADHD--I can provide the kind of nourishing, supportive environment they need. My full time job as a case manager for kids with disabilities in the public school system is a good fit due to all this background. But the stress does mount at times. 

My ex had the kids this weekend. I went to a writers group event on Saturday morning. And by the time I arrived at my boyfriend's apartment Saturday afternoon, I was such an emotional mess I melted into a puddle of tears. 

But my boyfriend made me a cup of tea and sat on the couch with me as I sobbed.

It was embarrassing.

I apologized. And then apologized some more.

"If you can't cry here, where can you cry?" he asked me. 

Long story short, he managed to pull things out of me I didn't even realize were causing angst, and then he talked me through it all. Everything. We walked into the bedroom and turned down the sheets, climbing into bed for a nice long nap together. 

There's something magical about falling asleep in the arms of someone you love. 

Nothing is more healing.


5 comments:

  1. It's good you found a rainbow. Take care.

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  2. Tears are the most effective cleansers. Good to know that you got the solace in the end. Hope that the peace prevails forever for you!
    ------------------------------------------------
    Anagha From Team MocktailMommies
    Collage Of Life

    ReplyDelete
  3. I’m glad your boyfriend is supportive. I can’t imagine how stressful it would be to take care of special needs children all day. I’d cry too.

    Aj @ Read All The Things!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tears do deserve tenderness and I'm glad that your boyfriend was so supportive. Sounds like a stressful day. I'm happy it ended on a better note for you.WeekendsInMaine

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  5. Having someone special in your life can make all the difference in how you handle crisis in your life. You definitely need this and he's right you need to unburden yourself of these worries, concerns, in order to feel refreshed again. You're doing good stuff for other people's kids, your own children, and you're even doing good things for yourself with the writing class. Feel good about yourself and where you're going!

    ReplyDelete

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